Anu' Asta

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After Five Years

Almost five years ago, in July 2003, I accepted to go on a one week sightseeing trip with Michael though Transylvania - Bran, Sighisoara, Cluj. Anybody who knew me then would have noticed how atypical this was of me. I could hardly be convinced to go downtown on any given day, unless you told me there were lots of free cigarettes there and I happened to be out of money and cigarettes.

Although we slept in a different place almost every night, we got into a comfortable routine. We would come back to our room after going out and watch TV until we fell asleep. At the time, Michael was very impressed with Romanian cable TV, especially the Romanian music channels and the re-runs of Beverly Hills 90201. And although I can hardly recall that Zach and Andrea were in a relationship, I can vividly recall the sweetness of those summer nights together with Michael. He was calm and warm, and I wished I could feel his tender affection for longer than one week. My mind was clear around him, but my soul felt light as a feather.

Now my mind is much foggier and my soul gets really heavy sometimes, but I still feel the same warmth when I am around Michael. Which is why I am happy that we're going to get married this summer, June 15th, on an island near his hometown of Tacoma. And although I wake up in the middle of the night agonizing over the price of a bridal bouquet, I still feel this is one of the best things I will ever do. He's a good man.

Mindful together

Most of the time I am just me. Alone, with my own emotions, I breath in and out, I make plans, I obsess, I analyze, I fear, or get teary. I do my laps in the pool and look at the water bubbles that I create when I touch the water. I sit on the train and listen to music. I smell the spring and it fills my lungs. Most of the time, it's just me and all these experiences. But there are times when I experience the same emotion with another person, right at the same time, like we are one person. We both start laughing at the same time when we realize something, or we both feel tremendous pity for another person, or we both feel comfortable in the afternoon sun. Both, at the same time, the same emotion, and we know it. These are the times that I crave for. These are the times that I feel that we are more than the sum of our cells, that there is something that connects us above and beyond... and these are the times when I am, at the same time, the most and least afraid of dying.

Tagged - what I see in the morning

I was tagged by c. - what do I see in the morning when I wake up?

This is what I see when I open my eyes in the morning:


(Yes, the kitty is real and she's always there when I wake up!)

And this is what is see if I get closer to the window:



I'm tagging Raluca (with an appology for not responding to her tag earlier - my iTunes was messed up and I didn't have the patience to fix it), The Arrow, and Stingoo (because they both take beautiful pictures).

Isn't spring beautiful?

The humps of the week

Tuesdays are the new Thursdays.

We went out Tuesday night because it was Michael's birthday and I was surprised to see how many people were also out. It was a gorgeous night on the Six Feet Under deck overlooking the cemetery (there's another one in West Midtown now), with warm air, candles, and city lights in the background. And I realized how Tuesdays are the perfect days to go out in spring - once you're done with Tuesday, it's almost Friday. But Friday is too close to Sunday. Thus Tuesdays are the new Thursdays.

"Ain't Been Doctored (yet)*"

I am ABD (All But Dissertation)! Which basically means that I passed my General Exam, which is the last requirement for a PhD before a dissertation. I studied a lot and I had a very good experience taking this exam --- both the 8-hour written part and the oral part, which I took today. I received lots of praises, including one from my adviser which melted my heart and confused me at the same time. She told me I have a talent for this field and that it would be a loss if I didn't go in the academia. So I guess I have a mind to make up...

I am at the same time overwhelmed and excited by all the professional opportunities I have. It's probably the first time I am realizing that my education has, above all, the power of giving me freedom of choice in my future career. It feels good.

* copyright to my adviser's husband.

Javi

Not only is Javier Bardem the second sexiest person alive, but he is also a hypochondriac. Via my sister I found this interview with JB by John Malkovich:

JM: [...] Now Javier. I want to ask you about something. You possess one of my favorite qualities, which is that you're a very accomplished hypochondriac. [Bardem laughs] Could you tell me briefly about the first time you felt you had a serious illness that you didn't have?

JB: Sure. I was 14 years old, lying on the sofa watching TV, and my head started to ache. I said, "I am going to die. I'd better call my friends and say good-bye." [laughs] I called two of them, and they said, "Well, go to the doctor." So I went to the doctor's office, and they looked at me and said, "What are you doing here?" I said, "I think I'm going to die." And they told me, "You're fine. Just relax." I told my friends what had happened, and from that moment on, they've been used to me saying that I have serious health problems. I suppose one day I won't say anything and I'll disappear. [both laugh]

JM: Wasn't there also a time when you thought you had throat cancer, so you went to Luciano Pavarotti's throat doctor?

JB: Yes. I had to go to Vienna, which cost me a lot of money I didn't have, and this doctor spoke to me in German, and I didn't understand a word. I was sweating and almost crying, because I thought he had the clue to my life and I wasn't understanding his words. So I made him write down everything he thought about my throat in English, and what he wrote, basically, was, "It's fine. That'll be $500." [both laugh]

I like people who are open about their hypochondria, because it helps me realize I am not the only crazy person I know.