4, 3, 2

The Romanian movie 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days received a Golden Globe nomination, after receiving the Palme D'Or at Cannes festival this spring (an award shared, over the years, with Taxi Driver, Pulp Fiction, and Dancer in the Dark). Maybe this will rush its distribution in the US.

(I'm kind of dissapointed that Into the Wild did not get much attention.)

"Run, Ionuka, run" (Raluca)

You wanna know where I run? Take a look here. I actually stop running a little before the 5-mile point, but it's still pretty good for me. It's about 15 songs worth of running.

If you like to run outside and google pedometer works in your area, please share your route with me. I am fascinated by this!

This (troubled) mind

Here's the big irony of my life. Ever since I was little I was afraid of dying. Just a few years old, I could not fall asleep thinking that we would all eventually die. I would wake up my parents and ask if it was really like that. Do we all have to die? Wouldn't our family get a break? They would tell me that we all eventually die, and that I should go back to bed. Think about something pretty, like the sea and the waves. For years, I was really good at thinking about the waves and avoiding thinking about death. But lately, I cannot avoid it anymore. Part of it is that I know I can't afford to avoid it. I need to figure out things. But I can't (...) And then, like with all the other negative feelings in my life, I turn it against my body. As I wrote before, I am a hypochondriac. I just can't stop obsessing about diseases. For example now, I have these tiny red dots on my skin that I fear are a sign of leukemia. I asked my doctor about it and she told me not to worry. Yesterday I ran 4.35 miles, part of it uphill. Genes seem to be on my side too. But still, I worry worry worry. So the ironic thing is this. I fear death because I love living. I love the people around me and I don't want to die because I would miss them. But at the same time, I am not enjoying life because I am worried about death all the time. I need to change this, or else... it's all meaningless.

(the sad thing is that my life is really good.)